Day 2 - Post-Post-Apocalypse

The results are in!  I looked over all of them and they seem pretty consistent - no huge drops or significant changes.  I wouldn't say my health suffered and I wouldn't say it was optimal, but I'm also not a doctor.  One surprising result is that I gained weight.  I am not sure if it was food choice or maybe shift in metabolism due to irregular eating patterns.

There are a few things that I have come to appreciate/notice/understand having transitioned back to buying food:

1. Transitioning felt a little like that scene in 'The Shawshank Redemption', where the guy gets out of prison and he just can't cope with life out of the pen.  I felt a little lost and reluctant to purchase food at first.  Fortunately for me, it was 3 months and not like 20 years, so the feeling passed within a day.  Truly, lasting new habits only require a few months to take shape and form. 
2. Being able to choose the food you eat is so much better for your spirit than being confined to a certain set of choices.  This seems obvious.  Some days it was like this great adventure and others I looked to food for comfort; the latter days were the most difficult.  There is a discipline that arises from making do with what you have and being grateful that you at least have something.  Sometimes my body would ask for fresh veggies and that wasn't something I could always provide.  I could feel that voice get a little smaller, as if it had decided there was no use in speaking if the request couldn't be fulfilled. 
3. I completely understand why some food banks have a list of items they want and don't want.  My sister has a food bank project with Langley this year and the list explicitly says 'no boxed Kraft Dinner/Mr. Noodles' and 'no soups without vegetables'.  Last year, I was of the mind-set that they should be grateful to receive food.  This year I see how variety and nutritional options can be helpful to opening possibility space and encouraging growth.
4. Fresh foods that I have selected taste fantastic!  Deprivation increases sensation, for sure.  Yesterday I had lettuce with balsamic vinegar and olive oil - it felt like after 3 months of camping, I had just taken a shower at home.
5. Would I do it again?  Yes.  However, I don't think I can ever really repeat this unless something external forces me to no longer be able to purchase groceries.  A big part of it was being unprepared for the experience.  Not stocking up on food beforehand.  If you know you will do this, you subconsciously prepare and plan, I think.

December blood test results

Day 90 - This is the end

Well, this is it.  Yesterday marked 90 days (I think I lost track of the actual days somehow.  But I started September 6, 2011 and October had 31 days, so really December 5, 2011 is the end date).  I learned a lot and grew tremendously from this little experiment.

I took the last blood test today and will post the results in a few days, once I receive them.

I began with a look inside my pantry, so it seems fitting to end with the pantry.  I think I could go another few weeks...The spice cabinet is still pretty full.  I only ran out of curry powder and black pepper.  I was using these spices pretty heavily to cover anything that didn't taste great. 

ghee, apple cider vinegar, hemp hearts, misc. asian soy/hot sauces

frozen kale and blackberries in the container (all local, organic, and urban foraged)

a lot of kelp...cornmeal, senna leaf, ~1 cup flour and oats, black sesame in the back

poppy-seeds, steel-cut oats, icing sugar, molasses, some kind of buckwheat?

vega powder, jars of kombucha, rancid pine nuts, yeast, miso, tbsp margarine, banana, beer (holding it for a friend)

looks like the nuts from last christmas will see another

Day 87 - It's a Lifestyle!!

On Friday all my meals were on Kumon - first there was the corporate Kumon party at the Sandbar on Granville Island (salad, wild mushroom risotto, lemon tart with raspberry coulis) and then there was the Kumon Willowbrook party (Panago's pizza, my fave, hot chocolate, gingerbread cookies and lots of candy).  The holidays are a wonderful opportunity to revel in free meals.

Today I went to the Kumon East First Avenue grand opening and I won a door prize!!!

it's a giant chocolate egg

it's also hollow with a giant egg inside

For dinner, I decided it was time to use the crown jewel of my supplies - the can of lentil soup left behind by a friend visiting for a few weeks.  I truly, truly understand why canned goods are such a great thing for food banks and just in general.  I grew up in a house-hold that never relied on cans for meals, so it was very foreign.  I am amazed that a can that has been in my cupboard for at least half a year can be dumped in a pot and heated into a fantastic dinner.  Canned food is underrated.

space-age technology

Final Thought: My sister's fiancé has taken to asking me if I am, "still doing that diet"?  I wouldn't describe this as a diet anymore than I would describe being 'gay' as a diet.  The nutrition angle is more of a corollary of the main objective, which is letting go, having faith in the abundance and mystery of the universe.

Day 85 - The Brownie Bite

Back in October I received a coupon for a free brownie at the Guildford Moxie's connected to the Sandman Suites (Surrey swank).  For every coupon redeemed Moxie's donates $1 to the Breakfast for Learning program.  This is a pretty sweet deal for all parties.  However, I had been reluctant to redeem this coupon as the implication is that a patron would likely order other items with the free brownie.  The coupon expires today... 

While I didn't necessarily need to eat this brownie (I have more than enough to last me the next 5 days), I couldn't ignore this feeling that I was avoiding the coupon because I would feel like a total deadbeat redeeming it.  I feared that the waitstaff would think I was cheap, that I would be looked at as someone who was somehow less than.  To live this experiment to the fullest, I had to go.

I didn't know anyone who worked there, yet I felt as if I had been transported back to high school.  To clarify, high school wasn't great for me.  To quote 'Dazed and Confused', "I keep getting older, and they stay the same [age]."  If this were some kind of short story, this would be cathartic epiphany of sorts instead of mildly angst-ridden.  But how about that brownie?

it's a 'blond' brownie. exotic!

I sat in the lounge and wrote some thoughts as I enjoyed my brownie and hot water with lemon.  I wondered how much of a tip to leave.  This was a very tortured series of minutes.  Do I leave a tip?  If I don't does this prove that I have truly transcended caring what people think of me?  If I realise this thought does that then negate it because I am trying to prove that point?  It was aggravating.  I finally decided that I would leave a $2 tip (60% of what the brownie would have cost) because I'm sure the waitress who brought me the brownie could use it for cab fare from the Mirage later on.  I wish this post could be tied up with a neat bow; instead it's a little loose in the middle and one end is much shorter than the other.

Day 82 - Fresh Slice Day

The new Fraser Heights Fresh Slice is attached to a gas station, which means it is more of a kiosk than a restaurant.  It was super-busy and the numerous staff members seemed really bewildered and unhappy to be there.  When I arrived around 1:30pm there were 2 choices of cold pizza slices: pepperoni or cheese.  Having said that, I was grateful to have food.  However, I would not likely pay $1.56 for a slice from here.

The coupon was good for 1 free XL slice of pizza.  Turns out, there is only one size.

free pizza!

Day 80 - Tmrw is Fresh Slice Day

Tomorrow I will go to the new Fresh Slice opening in Fraser Heights to redeem a coupon for one free XL slice.  The catch is that it must be redeemed between 1 and 3pm.  Looking forward to it.  I could eat pizza for 3 months. 

Today marks 10 days to the end of this little experiment.  What's interesting is that I've saved some of my best items to this point - can of lentil soup, half a box of couscous, a potato, a quarter bag of brown rice spaghetti noodles.

Day 78 - Another Gift!

Started feeling the cobwebs cloud my inner-landscape.  Hormones?  Attachment to form? SAD?  Don't know.  I decided to shake it off with a walk to find yarn.  It's that time of the year where I pick up my knitting needles and re-learn how to knit, purl, knit, purl, purl, purl, knit?...oops...unravel that row.  As I walked along 104th avenue, I happened to see a bag of bananas in an empty lot amidst paint cans, coffee cups, and wet sweatshirts.  There were about 12 in the bag and they were bruised and rather moist, as if they had breathed the humidity lining the bag.

I took this gift to my parents' house and made an assortment of breads and muffins for my family to enjoy (with 4 left over for waffles).

The last few days have been rather mysterious.  These gifts are love notes left anonymously on my doorstep, offerings of a sort, that reveal only the existence of my intangible beloved: no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind.